Should You Be Working or Watching Netflix? Let’s Discuss…
Am I being an undisciplined mess or a highly evolved human who knows how to pivot?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're technically supposed to be doing one thing, but then life throws you a curveball, and suddenly you’re doing something else entirely? And then you sit there, wondering: Am I being an undisciplined mess or a highly evolved human who knows how to pivot?
That’s exactly what happened to someone who wrote to me this week. She had her day all planned out: morning routine, exercise, work, big anniversary party prep for her parents (60 years! How’s that even possible?) … you get the idea. Then, bam! Her partner takes a (much-needed) mental health day.
And suddenly, she’s torn. She wants to hang out with her hubby (because, hello, love). But she also has work to do and an anniversary to prep for. So instead of enjoying the unexpected gift of time or getting down to business, she spent the day in a weird limbo, sometimes having so much fun with her man, but then having intrusive thoughts that she should be doing other things.
So, here’s the question: Was she being undisciplined, or was she prioritizing wisely?
Because let’s be honest, sometimes “going with the flow” is just a fancy way of saying, “I ignored my responsibilities and ate an entire package of Oreos instead” (or is that just me?). Other times, it’s a sign of emotional intelligence, flexibility, and truly knowing what matters most.
So how do you actually know which one you’re doing, procrastinating or prioritizing?
Here are four questions I ask myself to get a reality check:
1. Is this a meaningful shift or just an excuse? If the thing pulling your attention (like an unexpected day with your partner) adds real value to your life, that’s a priority shift. If you’re just watching one more cat video instead of sending that email, that’s procrastination.
2. Will I regret not doing this later? Picture yourself at the end of the day. Will Future You be glad you took this time, or will they be giving you the side-eye for dropping the ball? Regret is a great indicator of whether you’re making the right call.
3. Did I make this decision, or did it happen to me? Prioritization is conscious. It’s when you say, “I’m choosing to spend time with my partner because connection is more important than a to-do list today.” Procrastination is passive. It’s when you get to 5 p.m. and realize the day just slipped away from you.
4. How does it feel in my gut? When I get past my self-loathing, I’m-always-in-the-wrong voice, I can find my True North voice. I take a moment and truly settle myself. Then, I see myself doing the thing and see how I feel. Maybe I can picture just hanging out all day binging Squid Games on Netflix instead of working, but how do I picture myself feeling during that day? Will it be constant guilt and avoidance leading to shame and anger at myself? Yes, initially when I picture the day off, I feel relieved, but how will I really feel during/at the end of that day?
Here’s the thing: Life isn’t a productivity contest! You’re not a machine. You’re a human, and relationships are built in these small, everyday moments. You’ve heard me say, “Great relationships aren’t built in a day; great relationships are built daily.” If we’re lucky, we get little surprise gifts of extra time with the people we love. The key is recognizing when those moments are worth taking, and owning that choice instead of feeling guilty about it.
So whether it’s a last-minute day off with your partner, an impromptu coffee with a friend, or even just stopping to watch the sunset instead of answering one more email, ask yourself the four questions. If it’s a true priority, lean in and enjoy. If it’s just procrastination in disguise, well… maybe then it’s time for a little discipline (but still be kind to yourself, please).
Here's to a week of making sure your values align with the priorities you’re setting.